By bliny!

The last thing you want to hear at 6 am from a hostel receptionist after arriving in a new country on a sleepless coach trip is: “Sorry, 4 o’clock check-in”. On the up side, we were finally, after considerable outlay and red tape, in St Petersburg.

We tried to wait it out in the communal kitchen but, realising sleep was beyond us, we opted to wander around town bleary-eyed. That day, we encountered some of the most beautiful architecture in the World. We stumbled into the Palace Square to behold a vast perimeter of grand buildings including the (less grandly named) General Staff Building and Winter Palace. There were baby bears dancing around the Alexander Column and buskers in period-clothing, which all added to the memorable, semi-delirious experience.



We expected to see tall, fur hats and bottles of vodka but - it was the wrong season for that. In fact, we saw very little vodka consumption, but the same cannot be said as regards beer. Back home, before midday we say: “one before eleven, eleven before one”. In Russia, they say: “brushing your teeth tastes better with beer”. It seemed that everyone, mostly men (but not exclusively), had a fresh beer in their hand at all hours and most notably at around 8-9 am. Given this, we surprisingly did not encounter many drunks.

Apparently, we later learned, vodka is reserved for cooler weather. It is not surprising to hear, although distressingly tragic, that more people drunk-drown in Russia than anywhere else in Europe (fourfold), the ‘average’ annual consumption of pure alcohol is twelve (12) litres (about a bottle of vodka per week) and the average life expectancy of a male is 58 years [ref: LP Russia & Belarus, 3rd ed].

Now, where was I. Oh yes, the magnificent architecture...



We found in St Petersburg two of our most favourite buildings: the Church of the Resurrection of Christ (more colourfully known as the Church on Spilled Blood, above) and St Isaac’s Cathedral. Both are obviously religious buildings, but in no other way comparable. The Winter Palace was also quite special and it now holds arguably the lion’s share of the Hermitage Museum, in which we invested a whole day, and which is up there with the Louvre and British Museums.

Now for the absolute highlight of Weisie’s trip to Russia. It was huge. Absolutely enormous. Epic. No, colossal. Gargantuan. Mammoth! Well, a baby mammoth.



If you have ever wondered how museums acquire items such as baby mammoths, we now know the answer. They buy them on eBay (proof). In all, we saw a couple of immature woolly mammoths and quite a few not-so-woolly adult mammoths. To be able to see one of these prehistoric beauties was wonderful. Okay, they sort of look like modern elephants, but when you see their enormous tusks and the fleshy protrusion on top of their heads, you know that the makers of Ice Age did their homework.

We lived mostly on blinis (traditional buckwheat pancakes), but complimented our staple diet with salami soup from ‘Blin Donalds’ (truly, it’s called that). Our time in St Petersburg was, as you would imagine, not nearly long enough. The place is huge, and every street is a marvel. However, before too long we found ourselves on a cramped, overnight train through villages and forests to the capital.

The underground mass transit railway system in Moscow is unparalleled anywhere in the World. Apparently, it carries more people than its counterparts in New York and London combined - every day. It is as deep as the Mines of Moria and more spectacular than most contemporary museums. We should know because we spent nearly two hours underground on the first day in Moscow trying to work out where our hostel was...




Moscow is unlike any other city. There is the monstrous, out-of-place statute of Peter the Great (partially visible above), the Red Square, the Kremlin, St Basil’s Cathedral, the State Gallery, and so much more. There is not enough room in this blog to tell you all about our experiences. You simply have to go there yourself.




Walking around the Kremlin was a bizarre experience. We were in a place that we had known from our childhood as the centre of the impenetrable Soviet Union and a place where we would never see the inside of. So to be there, marshalled around by men that looked like they were auditioning for the part of an Agent in the next Matrix movie, was fantastic. Inside the fortified walls were some of Russia’s oldest Orthodox churches, the largest bell in the World (it was huge) and a not inconsiderable cannon (above).




Finally, let us play a game:

Question: Is it possible to fit more than 45 Russian dolls one inside the other?
Answer: yes (proof).